Disappearing posts

I took down those posts wherein I complained about being dumped, because I realized I was bleeding a bit too much all over the page.

They still exist. Maybe when this isn't all so raw, I'll put them back up.

In the meantime, I continue to be nauseous about this breakup, and I continue to be grateful for all your sympathy, and I continue to look forward to when I can actually function at work.

And I look forward to the Stained Glass making class that this breakup has driven me to. I could have picked a cool breakup hobby like Kite Surfing (that's next...I just have to build up my upper body a bit more so I don't get tired and drown) or something punchy-kicky like Karate, or I could have taken up sailing again.

Instead, in a moment of extreme weakness, the Jewesses (both the ones I was with, and the ones in the Stained Glass Store on 72nd Avenue) convinced me to take a class. And so I shall, for six weeks this summer, turn pain into glass. And then give it to my parents, most likely.

I think I'm taking the MD bar this summer also. I guess I realized I was staying in Miami, in large part, for Stephen. And now I realize that that was stooo-pid, and that I don't want to stay down here, where, as of right now, I can't turn a corner without seeing a ghost of our relationship. God. Two and a half years is a really, really long time. What is that? Like a fraction of around 10% of my life? Math has never been my forte. That's why I likes the law.

So - yes. I'm trying to turn this blinding pain into glass.

And for god's sake, will someone tell me to stop wanting him to call me?

Thanks.