I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Friday, September 23, 2005

An Open Letter to Yvette Fielding of Most Haunted:

Dear Yvette:

I love your show. I really do. I love everything about your show -- except you.

You're a good host, you look -- tight-lipped and British in a black wool overcoat and a pair of smart black slacks, with a gray cowl-necked sweater in every episode, and you're fine to set the scene but do me a favor, okay? Do us all a favor -- stop going into the places at night.

Here's why:

You're annoying as hell.

I'm sick of you, and I can tell everyone else in the cast is sick of you. Here's my impression of you at the slightest noise: "AHHH! DIDJA HEAH THAT?! DID YOUUUU HEAH THAT? AHH! AHH! *BEEP* *BEEP* SOME'FING TOUCHED ME! TOM! DID YOU HEAR THAT?! TOM? DID YOU HEAR THAT? DID YOU HEAR THAT? DID YOU HEAR THAT?! DID YOU HEAR THAT? ::SCREAM:: DID YOU HEAR THAT?!" I SEE AN ARM! I SEE AN ARM!"

Hey Yvette - shut the fuck up.

I want to hear it too... but I can't above your constant questioning. Wasn't it in your job description like to be able to shut up and watch/listen for ghosts? I mean... maybe you can hear it, but I can't above your sqawking. So hush. Please. For the love of all things holy.