I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Fucking Fantastic.

Mike forwarded this to me. This video was shot a mere two and a half months before my bar mitzvah, November 20, 1993.

It's awesome.

A couple points:

1) Judging by the accents and the clothes, I'd say it's either a Philly Bar-Mitzvah, or a Pikesville/Owings Mills, MD Bar-Mitzvah. Possibly southern New Jersey, but I'm putting my money between Philly and Owings Mills - New Jersey would probably have had slightly more awful clothes. I think probably Philly (a rich Suburb like Narberth or in Lower Merion...that blue screen technology back then was only for fancy rich people.)

2) Adrienne - you had this at your Bat Mitzvah. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

3) I didn't make a tape. Tears. I was too busy eating that sliced turkey breast that they served! Best EVER!

4) One of my favorite parts of this movie is when Nana gets gas and winces and rubs her tummy.

5) Also, the tone-deaf guy who's wearing a blue shirt, and the blue-screen cameras pick it up?! PRICELESS!

6) The amber-smoked aviators, sprayed hair, little pink bows, and suits from 1987? And drunken grandfather? All of them represented in my Bar-Mitzvah pictures as well.

In fact, there's probably a tape somewhere (there definitely is) from my Bar Mitzvah... almost exactly like this. Only the accents wouldn't be as constant - in mine there'll be Baltimorese drowning out Bostonian.

"All be oowen your sahd f'rever moooooore! Da's what friens arrr fore!"

Dear Fort Lauderdale Judges:

Dear Judges in Fort Lauderdale:

Do you set your motion calendars at 8:45 a.m. just to screw with Miami-Dade attorneys?

It's not nice. It means we have to leave Miami Beach at 7:30 just to be at Court on time.

Henceforth (including tomorrow) please set all Motion Calendars starting at 9:30 a.m.

Your attention to this matter is greatly appreciated.

Respectfully submitted,