Miami Spice at the Setai

Liza and I went to the Setai tonight for dinner to take advantage of Miami Spice.

The good:

The service! Great service! Unobtrusive, knowledgeable waiter, pleasant to speak with, and great bussers, and runners. Go service!

The wine list is discounted! Go $34 bottles of wine!

The bad:

The food.

Here's my four-word review of the food at the Setai, "Barfity-barf-barf-barf."

I was feeling a little adventurous, so I had the Mushroom Soba Noodles with Truffle Ice Cream, the Crispy Asian Pork Belly with Kimchi, and some Sago palm pudding with mango sorbet.

I did not go safe with the Thom-Ka-Gai, Chicken, and Sticky Rice with Mango. I should have. This was a mistake.

For the record, I do not eat anything that swims, or lives in sand. Which was unfortunate for me... especially so tonight. Because everything at the Setai was covered with a thin layer of fish...

From the Bread Basket, where I stuck with pappadams, after an unfortunate run-in with an un-marked shrimp cracker, to the peanut bowl, where thankfully I noticed that the Japanesey-style crispy thing accompanying the peanuts had eyes, because it was a FRIED SARDINE (the peanut bowl was swimming with them... PUN!) ... to the mushroom soba noodles with truffle ice cream, that must have sounded like a good idea, but wasn't... said dish being OVERWHELMED by oyster mushrooms (I can still taste them when I exhale), to the pork belly swimming in FISH SAUCE, with extra-fish-saucy kimchi, to sweet, sweet merciful death, the dessert, sago palm pudding (like extra-big tapioca... or, like milky, medium-sized fish eggs...) with some weird fizzy fermented pistachio stuff on the bottom and mango sorbet on top.

I have never left behind food at a Miami Spice meal, because 1) I'm a Jew, and it's a shame to waste; and 2) because usually I'm so enraptured with what I'm eating, I can't imagine not consuming ALL! OF! IT!

Tonight, I left a bit of everything on my plate... and it wasn't for a lack of trying to make all-gone.

Dinner Fail.

But again, the service? Stellar. And CHEAP WINE!