I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Monday, November 10, 2008

Remember that year I was fat?

Hey - Remember that year I was fat? It lasted approximately October, 2007 - November, 2008?

Eeesh. I'm glad that's overwith. I mean, it was pretty sweet eating all the time and not giving a rat's ass that I couldn't button the collars of any of my shirts...

But it's much nicer to be getting back to skinny again.

I'm still a couple pounds off from that Heroin-chic look I'm going for... you know, where I grow my hair out all long again, but don't sweep it back, rather, let it hang over my face in a shag, and wear black, super skinny jeans and Chuck Taylors and listen to the Little Ones and Morrisey and express no emotion except for a deep and unbreakable ennui.

Heck, I'm still a couple pounds off from those "Motivational Seersucker Shorts!" I got at the Penguin store last May. But I think it was really between May-October that I blew up like a little, chubby, Jewish balloon.

I'm not there yet. But at least I can wear shirt and pants without a jacket, without looking like I'm going to pitch forward and fall on my fat, fat face. Because... I only gain weight in my stomach and in my face. It's very odd. So, the rest of me stays lean and trim, and I look totally off kilter.

And puffy.

NO MORE, however! Today, my boss even complimented me on how I've lost my jowls.

I mean, what better compliment!?!