You're all abominable.

Yeah, I may be gay, which is an "abomination," but check out what you can have you SOUL stripped away for, and be cast out from the religion! Eating three-day old meat! And some people wonder why I take the Bible with a grain of salt...

Leviticus Chapter 19:

19:6 It shall be eaten the same day ye offer it, and on the morrow: and if ought remain until the third day, it shall be burnt in the fire.

19:7 And if it be eaten at all on the third day, it is abominable; it shall not be accepted.

19:8 Therefore every one that eateth it shall bear his iniquity, because he hath profaned the hallowed thing of the LORD: and that soul shall be cut off from among his people.

Also, you're not allowed to cut your hair. Or your beard. Or get a tattoo. Don't believe me?

19:27 Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.

19:28 Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

Wanna hybridize cattle? Plant some geraniums next to some tulips? Wear a cotton/poly blend shirt?! SINS! SINS! SINS!

19:19 Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.

I've never read this so-called "Bible" in English... but, from what I'm seeing... an awwwwwful lot of people have an awwwwwwful lot to be sorry about! As Reverend Lovejoy once said, "Oh, Marge. Everything's a sin. If you read the Bible closely enough, we're not even allowed to go to the bathroom!"

To answer questions:

1) Those candles in a glass are Yartzheit candles, for the yearly anniversaries of the deaths of close relatives. They burn on your stove, unattended for 24 hours, causing much anxt while at work, because you're worried that somehow, the candle exploded, and you'll come home to the charred ruins of your house.

Afterwards, you use the glasses the candles come in, to serve grape juice to children. The more people around you that die, and the longer they've been dead, the more juice glasses you have. Eventually, you'll move to a little light that you plug into the wall, which juts out like a small glowing penis, a shining tribute to your deceased loved one.

2) Matzah is a cracker-like unleavened bread that comes in boards. It's made with special ground wheat, and water, poked full of holes, and baked in a hot oven. It's about as flavorful as a manilla envelope. It's eaten to make Jews miserable for eight days of the year, to commemorate our journey across the Red Sea, out of Egypt, because we didn't have time to let our bread rise when Moses got Ramses to let us go. One would think that a Joyous holiday would call for eating tasty foods, but no. Flour and water. At least the hardtack served to the Prisoners at Newgate had worms in it for flavor...

At all other times of the year, it's ground up and makes its appearance in much the same way breadcrumbs do. Sometimes it makes its appearance as matzah pizza or matzah and peanutbutter. Really, the only people that eat Matzah outside of March or April, are in the sixty-seven and older age bracket. I don't know why. Maybe because they don't have any tastebuds, and everything tastes like matzah to them, anyway, so why eat tasty but expensive food, when matzah is filling and tastes just like a Dunkin Donut or a plate of clam strips to them?

Matzah's time to shine, however, is Passover, when there is Matzah in, quite possibly, everything anyone eats during the eight painful days.

There are several gradiations of matzah grinding - Matzah farfel is like cracker crumbs; I don't really know what it's used for, maybe matzah brei. Matzah farfel is annoying to me, for some reason. I think my mom is still operating off the box she bought when she was married in '75.

Matzah meal is like fine cracker crumbs. This is what you make Matzah balls out of; you can also make buns, etc out of it. And stuffing. You can basically make anything out of Matzah meal. Matzah meal is the Golden Child of Passover.

Then is Passover cake meal which is matzah that has been milled down, essentially, into flour again, but the important thing is that ONCE it was Matzah, because God-Forbid you don't eat Matzah and get horribly constipated and gassy during Passover. With Cake Meal (and Potato Starch) you can make brownies, and spongecake...and... well, who the hell cares, because you can also just buy all the boxed goodies that Manischewitz produces and make brownies and spongecake and cookies and eat kichel without having to do any work!